Sunday, June 30, 2013

చెస్టర్‌ఫీల్డ్ సలహాలు - ORATORY


ORATORY


     ORATORY, or the art of speaking well, is useful in every situation of life, and absolutely necessary in most. A man cannot distinguish himself without it, in parliament, in the pulpit, or at the bar; and even in common conversation, he who has acquired an easy and habitual eloquence, and who speaks with propriety and accuracy, will have a great advantage over those who speak inelegantly and incorrectly. The business of oratory is to persuade; and to please is the most effectual step towards persuading. It is very advantageous for a man who speaks in public to please his hearers so much as to gain their attention, which he cannot possibly do without the assistance of oratory.

     It is certain, that by study and application every man may make himself a tolerable good orator,—eloquence depending upon observation and care. Every man may, if he please, make choice of good instead of bad words and phrases, may speak with propriety instead of impropriety, and may be clear and perspicuous in his recitals instead of dark and unintelligible; he may have grace instead of awkwardness in his gestures and deportment; in short, it is in the power of every man, with pains and application, to be a very agreeable, instead of a very disagreeable, speaker; and it is well worth the labour to excel other men in that particular article in which they excel beasts.

     Demosthenes* thought it so essentially necessary to speak well, that, though he naturally stuttered and had weak lungs, he resolved, by application, to overcome those disadvantages. He cured his stammering by putting small pebbles into his mouth; and gradually strengthened his lungs by daily using himself to speak loudly and distinctly for a considerable time. In stormy weather he often visited the seashore, where he spoke as loud as he could, in order to prepare himself for the noise and murmurs of the popular assemblies of the Athenians, before whom he was to speak. By this extraordinary care and attention, and the constant study of the best authors, he became the greatest orator that his own or any other age or country has produced.

     Whatever language a person uses, he should speak it in its greatest purity, and according to the rules of grammar. Nor is it sufficient that we do not speak a language ill: we must endeavour to speak it well; for which purpose, we should read the best authors with attention, and observe how people of fashion and education speak. Common people, in general, speak ill: they make use of inelegant and vulgar expressions, which people of rank never do. In numbers, they frequently join the singular and the plural together; and seldom make choice of the proper tense. To avoid all these faults, we should read with attention, and observe the turn and expressions of the best authors: nor should we pass over a word we do not perfectly understand, without searching and inquiring for the exact meaning of it.

     It is said that a man must be born a poet, but it is in his power to make himself an orator; for to be a poet requires a certain degree of strength and vivacity of mind; but that attention, reading, and labour, are sufficient to form an orator.




Saturday, June 29, 2013

చెస్టర్‌ఫీల్డ్ సలహాలు - COMMON-PLACE OBSERVATIONS


COMMON-PLACE OBSERVATIONS




     NEVER use, believe, or approve common-place observations. They are the common topics of witlings and coxcombs: those who really have wit have the utmost contempt for them, and scorn even to laugh at the pert things that those would-be wits say upon such subjects.


RELIGION


     RELIGION is one of their favorite topics: it is all priest-craft, and an invention contrived and carried on by priests of all religions, for their own power and profit. From this absurd and false principle flow the common-place insipid jokes and insults upon the clergy. With these people, every priest, of every religion, is either a public or a concealed unbeliever, drunkard, and whoremaster; whereas, I conceive, that priests are extremely like other men, and neither the better nor the worse for wearing a gown or a surplice; but, if they are different from other people, probably it is rather on the side of religion and morality, or, at least, decency, from their education and manner of life.


MATRIMONY


     ANOTHER common topic for false wit and cold raillery is matrimony. Every man and his wife hate each other cordially, whatever they may pretend, in public, to the contrary. The husband certainly wishes his wife at the devil, and the wife certainly cuckolds her husband. Whereas I presume that men and their wives neither love nor hate each other the more, upon account of the form of matrimony which has been said over them. The cohabitation, indeed, which is the consequence of matrimony, makes them either love or hate more, accordingly as they respectively deserve it; but that would be exactly the same between any man and woman who lived together without being married.


COURTS AND COTTAGES


     IT is also a trite, common-place observation, that courts are the seats of falsehood and dissimulation. That, like many, I might say most, common-place observations, is false. Falsehood and dissimulation are certainly to be found at courts; but where are they not to be found? Cottages have them as well as courts, only with worse manners. A couple of neighboring farmers in a village will contrive and practice as many tricks to over-reach each other at the next market, or to supplant each other in the favor of the ’squire, as any two courtiers can do to supplant each other in the favor of their prince. Whatever poets may write, or fools believe, of rural innocence and truth, and of the perfidy of courts, this is undoubtedly true,—that shepherds and ministers are both men; their nature and passions the same, the modes of them only different.

     These and many other common-place reflections upon nations or professions, in general, (which are at least as often false as true,) are the poor refuge of people who have neither wit nor invention of their own, but endeavor to shine in company by second-hand finery. I always put these pert jackanapes out of countenance, by looking extremely grave when they expect that I should laugh at their pleasantries; and by saying, WELL, AND SO, as if they had not done, and that the sting were still to come. This disconcerts them; as they have no resources in themselves, and have but one set of jokes to live upon. Men of parts are not reduced to these shifts, and have the utmost contempt for them: they find proper subjects enough for either useful or lively conversations: they can be witty without satire or common-place, and serious without being dull.




Friday, June 28, 2013

చెస్టర్‌ఫీల్డ్ సలహాలు - MORAL CHARACTER


MORAL CHARACTER


     THE moral character of a man should be not only pure, but, like Caesar's wife, unsuspected. The least speck or blemish upon it is fatal. Nothing degrades and vilifies more; for it excites and unites detestation and contempt. There are, however, wretches in the world profligate enough to explode all notions of moral good and evil; to maintain that they are merely local, and depend entirely upon the customs and fashions of different countries; nay, there are still, if possible, more unaccountable wretches: I mean, those who affect to preach and propagate such absurd and infamous notions, without believing them themselves. Avoid, as much as possible, the company of such people, who reflect a degree of discredit and infamy upon all who converse with them. But, as you may sometimes, by accident, fall into such company, take great care that no complaisance, no good-humor, no warmth of festal mirth, ever make you seem even to acquiesce, much less approve or applaud, such infamous doctrines. On the other hand, do not debate, nor enter into serious argument, upon a subject so much below it; but content yourself with telling them, that you know they are not serious; that you have a much better opinion of them than they would have you have; and that you are very sure they would not practice the doctrine they preach. But put your private mark upon them, and shun them forever afterwards.

     There is nothing so delicate as a man’s moral character, and nothing which it is his interest so much to preserve pure. Should he be suspected of injustice, malignity, perfidy, lying, etc., all the parts and knowledge in the world will never procure him esteem, friendship, or respect. I therefore recommend to you a most scrupulous tenderness for your moral character, and the utmost care not to say or to do the least thing that may, ever so slightly, taint it. Show yourself, upon all occasions, the friend, but not the bully of virtue. Even Colonel Chartres, (who was the most notorious blasted rascal in the world, and who had, by all sorts of crimes, amassed immense wealth,) sensible of the disadvantage of a bad character, was once heard to say, that “although he would not give one farthing for virtue, he would give ten thousand pounds for a character; because he should get a hundred thousand pounds by it.” Is it possible, then, that an honest man can neglect what a wise rogue would purchase so dear?

     There is one of the vices above mentioned, into which people of good education, and, in the main, of good principles, sometimes fall, from mistaken notions of skill, dexterity, and self-defense, I mean lying: though it is inseparably attended with more infamy and loss than any other. But I have before given you my sentiments very freely on this subject: I shall, therefore, conclude this head with entreating you to be scrupulously jealous of the purity of your moral character: keep it immaculate, unblemished, unsullied, and it will be unsuspected. Defamation and calumny never attack where there is no weak place: they magnify, but they do not create.




Thursday, June 27, 2013

చెస్టర్‌ఫీల్డ్ సలహాలు - GENTLENESS OF MANNERS


GENTLENESS OF MANNERS



WITH FIRMNESS, OR RESOLUTION OF MIND

     I DO not know any one rule so unexceptionably useful and necessary in every part of life, as to unite gentleness of manners with firmness of mind. The first alone would degenerate and sink into a mean, timid complaisance and passiveness, if not supported and dignified by the latter; which would also deviate into impetuosity and brutality, if not tempered and softened by the other: however, they are seldom united. The warm, choleric man, with strong animal spirits, despises the first, and thinks to carry all before him by the last. He may, possibly, by great accident, now and then succeed, when he has only weak and timid people to deal with; but his general fate will be, to shock, offend, be hated, and fail. On the other hand, the cunning, crafty man, thinks to gain all his ends by gentleness of manners only: he becomes all things to all men; he seems to have no opinion of his own, and servilely adopts the present opinion of the present person: he insinuates himself only into the esteem of fools, but is soon detected and surely despised by everybody else. The wise man (who differs as much from the cunning as from the choleric man) alone joins softness of manners with firmness of mind.


DELIVER COMMANDS WITH MILDNESS


   THE advantages arising from an union of these qualities are equally striking and obvious. For example: If you are in authority, and have a right to command, your commands delivered with mildness and gentleness will be willingly, cheerfully, and consequently well obeyed; whereas, if given brutally, they will rather be interpreted than executed. For a cool, steady resolution should show, that where you have a right to command you will be obeyed; but, at the same time, a gentleness in the manner of enforcing that obedience should make it a cheerful one, and soften, as much as possible, the mortifying consciousness of inferiority.


ASK A FAVOUR WITH SOFTNESS


     IF you are to ask a favor, or even to solicit your due, you must do it with a grace, or you will give those who have a mind to refuse you a pretence to do it, by resenting the manner; but, on the other hand, you must, by a steady perseverance and decent tenaciousness, show firmness and resolution. The right motives are seldom the true ones of men's actions, especially of people in high stations; who often give to importunity and fear what they would refuse to justice or to merit. By gentleness and softness engage their hearts, if you can; at least prevent the pretence of offence; but take care to show resolution and firmness enough to extort from their love of ease, or their fear, what you might in vain hope for from their justice or good-nature. People in high life are hardened to the wants and distresses of mankind, as surgeons are to their bodily pains: they see and hear of them all day long, and even of so many simulated ones, that they do not know which are real and which not. Other sentiments are therefore to be applied to, than those of mere justice and humanity. Their favor must be captivated by the graces, their love of ease disturbed by unwearied importunity, or their fears wrought upon by a decent intimation of implacable cool resentment. This precept is the only way I know in the world of being loved without being despised, and feared without being hated. It constitutes the dignity of character, which every wise man must endeavor to establish.


CHECK HASTINESS OF TEMPER


     TO conclude. If you find that you have a hastiness in your temper, which unguardedly breaks out into indiscreet sallies, or rough expressions to either your superiors, your equals, or your inferiors, watch it narrowly, check it carefully, and call the graces to your assistance. At the first impulse of passion, be silent till you can be soft. Labor even to get the command of your countenance so well, that those emotions may not be read in it; a most unspeakable advantage in business! On the other hand, let no complaisance, no gentleness of temper, no weak desire of pleasing on your part,—no wheedling, coaxing, nor flattery, on other people's,—make you recede one jot from any point that reason and justice have bid you pursue; but return to the charge, persist, persevere, and you will find most things attainable that are possible. A yielding, timid meekness is always abused and insulted by the unjust and the unfeeling; but when sustained by firmness and resolution, is always respected, commonly successful.

     In your friendships and connections, as well as in your enmities, this rule is particularly useful: let your firmness and vigor preserve and invite attachments to you; but, at the same time, let your manner hinder the enemies of your friends and dependents from becoming yours: let your enemies be disarmed by the gentleness of your manner; but let them feel, at the same time, the steadiness of your just resentment; for there is a great difference between bearing malice, which is always ungenerous, and a resolute self-defense, which is always prudent and justifiable.


BE CIVIL, &C., TO RIVALS OR COMPETITORS


     SOME people cannot gain upon themselves to be easy and civil to those who are either their rivals, competitors, or opposers, though, independently of those accidental circumstances, they would like and esteem them. They betray a shyness and awkwardness in company with them, and catch at any little thing to expose them; and so, from temporary and only occasional opponents, make them their personal enemies. This is exceedingly weak and detrimental, as, indeed, is all humor in business; which can only be carried on successfully by unadulterated good policy and right reasoning. In such situations I would be more particularly civil, easy, and frank with the man whose designs I traversed: this is commonly called generosity and magnanimity, but is, in truth, good sense and policy. The manner is often as important as the matter; sometimes more so: a favor may make an enemy, and an injury may make a friend, according to the different manner in which they are severally done. In fine, gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind, is a short but full description of human perfection on this side of religious and moral duties.




Wednesday, June 26, 2013

చెస్టర్‌ఫీల్డ్ సలహాలు - DIGNITY OF MANNERS


DIGNITY OF MANNERS


     A CERTAIN dignity of manners is absolutely necessary, to make even the most valuable characters either respected or respectable in the world.


ROMPING &C.


     HORSE-PLAY, romping, frequent and loud fits of laughter, jokes, waggery, and indiscriminate familiarity, will sink both merit and knowledge into a degree of contempt. They compose at most a merry fellow, and a merry fellow was never yet a respectable man. Indiscriminate familiarity either offends your superiors, or else dubs you their dependent and led captain. It gives your inferiors just, but troublesome and improper claims of equality. A joker is near akin to a buffoon; and neither of them is the least related to wit. Whoever is admitted or sought for, in company, upon any other account than that of his merit and manners, is never respected there, but only made use of. “We will have Such-a-one, for he sings prettily;” “We will invite Such-a-one to a ball, for he dances well;” “We will have Such-a-one to supper, for he is always joking and laughing;” “We will ask another, because he plays deep at all games, or because he can drink a great deal.” These are all vilifying distinctions, mortifying preferences, and exclude all ideas of esteem and regard. Whoever is had (as it is called) in company, for the sake of any one thing singly, is singly that thing, and will never be considered in any other light; and consequently never respected, let his merits be what they will.


PRIDE


     DIGNITY of manners is not only as different from pride as true courage is from blustering, or true wit from joking, but is absolutely inconsistent with it; for nothing vilifies and degrades more than pride. The pretensions of the proud man are oftener treated with sneer and contempt, than with indignation; as we offer ridiculously too little to a tradesman who asks ridiculously too much for his goods; but we do not haggle with one who only asks a just and reasonable price.


ABJECT FLATTERY


     ABJECT flattery and indiscriminate ostentation degrade, as much as indiscriminate contradiction and noisy debate disgust; but a modest assertion of one's own opinion, and a complaisant acquiescence to other people's, preserve dignity.

     Vulgar, low expressions, awkward motions and address, vilify, as they imply either a very low turn of mind, or low education, and low company.


FRIVOLOUS CURIOSITY


     FRIVOLOUS curiosity about trifles, and a laborious attention to little objects, which neither require nor deserve a moment's thought, lower a man; who thence is thought (and not unjustly) incapable of greater matters. Cardinal de Retz very sagaciously marked out Cardinal Chigi for a little mind, from the moment that he told him he had written three years with the same pen, and that it was an excellent good one still.

     A certain degree of exterior seriousness in looks and motions gives dignity, without excluding wit and decent cheerfulness, which are always serious themselves. A constant smirk upon the face, and a whiffling activity of the body, are strong indications of futility. Whoever is in a hurry, shows that the thing he is about is too big for him. Haste and hurry are very different things.

     To conclude: A man who has patiently been kicked may as well pretend to courage, as a man blasted by vices and crimes may to dignity of any kind. But an exterior decency and dignity of manners will even keep such a man longer from sinking, than otherwise he would be: of such consequence is decorum, even though affected and put on.




Tuesday, June 25, 2013

చెస్టర్‌ఫీల్డ్ సలహాలు - LYING

LYING

     NOTHING is more criminal, mean, or ridiculous than lying. It is the production either of malice, cowardice, or vanity; but it generally misses of its aim, in every one of these views; for lies are always detected sooner or later. If we advance a malicious lie, in order to affect any man's fortune or character, we may indeed injure him for some time; but we shall certainly be the greatest sufferers in the end; for, as soon as we are detected, we are blasted for the infamous attempt; and whatever is said afterwards to the disadvantage of that person, however true, passes for calumny. To lie, or to equivocate, (which is the same thing,) to excuse ourselves for what we have said or done, and to avoid the danger or the shame that we apprehend from it, we discover our fear as well as our falsehood, and only increase, instead of avoiding, the danger and the shame; we show ourselves to be the lowest and meanest of mankind, and are sure to be always treated as such. If we have the misfortune to be in the wrong, there is something noble in frankly owning it; it is the only way of atoning for it, and the only way to be forgiven. To remove a present danger by equivocating, evading, or shuffling, is something so despicable, and betrays so much fear, that whoever practices them deserves to be chastised.


     There are people who indulge themselves in another sort of lying, which they reckon innocent, and which, in one sense is so; for it hurts nobody but themselves. This sort of lying is the spurious offspring of vanity begotten upon folly. These people deal in the marvelous. They have seen some things that never existed; they have seen other things which they never really saw, though they did exist, only because they were thought worth seeing. Has anything remarkable been said or done in any place, or in any company, they immediately represent and declare themselves eye or ear witnesses of it. They have done feats themselves, unattempted, or at least unperformed by others. They are always the heroes of their own fables, and think that they gain consideration, or at least present attention, by it; whereas, in truth, all that they get is ridicule and contempt, not without a good degree of distrust; for one must naturally conclude that he who will tell any lie from idle vanity, will not scruple telling a greater for interest. Had I really seen anything so very extraordinary as to be almost incredible, I would keep it to myself, rather than, by telling it, give any one body room to doubt for one minute of my veracity. It is most certain, that the reputation of chastity is not so necessary for a women as that of veracity is for a man: and with reason; for it is possible for a woman to be virtuous, though not strictly chaste; but it is not possible for a man to be virtuous without strict veracity. The slips of the poor woman are sometimes mere bodily frailties; but a lie in a man is a vice in the mind and of the heart.

 Nothing but truth can carry us through the world with either our conscience or our honor unwounded. It is not only our duty, but our interest; as a proof of which it may be observed, that the greatest fools are the greatest liars. We may safely judge of a man's truth by his degree of understanding.





Monday, June 24, 2013

చెస్టర్‌ఫీల్డ్ సలహాలు - KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD - Part - II


KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD



Part - II



STUDY THE FOIBLES AND PASSIONS OF BOTH SEXES


         Iyou would particularly gain the affection and friendship of particular people, whether men or women, endeavor to find out the predominant excellency, if they have one, and their prevailing weakness, which everybody has; and do justice to the one, and something more than justice to the other. Men have various objects in which they may excel, or at least would be thought to excel and though they love to hear justice done to them where they know that they excel, yet they are most and best flattered upon those points where they wish to excel, and yet are doubtful whether they do or not. As for example: Cardinal Richelieu, who was undoubtedly the ablest statesman of his time, or perhaps of any other, had the idle vanity of being thought the best poet too: he envied the great Corneille his reputation, and ordered a criticism to be written upon the "Cid." Those, therefore, who flattered skillfully, said little to him of his abilities in state affairs, or at least but en passant, and as it might naturally occur. But the incense which they gave him, the smoke of which they knew would turn his head in their favor, was as a bel esprit and a poet. Why? Because he was sure of one excellency, and distrustful as to the other.


FLATTER THE VANITY OF ALL


     YOU will easily discover every man's prevailing vanity by observing his favorite topic of conversation; for every man talks most of what he has most a mind to be thought to excel in. Touch him but there, and you touch him to the quick.

     Women have in general but one object, which is their beauty, upon which scarce any flattery is too gross for them to swallow. Nature has hardly formed a woman ugly enough to be insensible to flattery upon her person. If her face is so shocking, that she must, in some degree, be conscious of it, her figure and her air, she trusts, make ample amends for it. If her figure is deformed, her face, she thinks, counterbalances it. If they are both bad, she comforts herself that she has graces, a certain manner, a je ne sais quoi, still more engaging than beauty. This truth is evident from the studied and elaborate dress of the ugliest women in the world. An undoubted, uncontested, conscious beauty is, of all women, the least sensible of flattery upon that head; she knows it is her due, and is therefore obliged to nobody for giving it her. She must be flattered upon her understanding, which though she may possibly not doubt of herself, yet she suspects that men may distrust.

     Do not mistake me, and think that I mean to recommend to you abject and criminal flattery: No; flatter nobody's vices nor crimes; on the contrary, abhor and discourage them. But there is no living in the world without a complaisant indulgence for people's weaknesses, and innocent though ridiculous vanities. If a man has a mind to be thought wiser and a woman handsomer than they really are, their error is a comfortable one to themselves, and an innocent one with regard to other people; and I would rather make them my friends by indulging them in it, than my enemies by endeavoring (and that to no purpose) to undeceive them.



SUSPECT THOSE WHO REMARKABLY AFFECT ANY ONE VIRTUE


     SUSPECT, in general, those who remarkably affect any one virtue,—who raise it above all others, and who, in a manner, intimate that they possess it exclusively: I say, suspect them; for they are commonly impostors: but do not be sure that they are always so; for I have sometimes known saints really religious, blusterers really brave, reformers of manners really honest, and prudes really chaste. Pry into the recesses of their hearts yourself, as far as you are able, and never implicitly adopt a character upon common fame; which, though generally right as to great outlines of characters, is always wrong in some particulars.



GUARD AGAINST PROFFERED FRIENDSHIP


BE upon your guard against those who, upon very slight acquaintance, obtrude their unasked and unmerited friendship and confidence upon you; for they probably cram you with them only for their own eating; but, at the same time, do not roughly reject them upon that general supposition. Examine further, and see whether those unexpected offers flow from a warm heart and a silly head, or from a designing head and a cold heart; for knavery and folly have often the same symptoms. In the first case, there is no danger in accepting them,—valeant quantum valere possunt. In the latter case, it may be useful to seem to accept them, and artfully to turn the battery upon him who raised it.


DISBELIEVE ASSERTIONS BY OATHS

IF a man uses strong oaths or protestations to make you believe a thing which is of itself so likely and probable that the bare saying of it would be sufficient, depend upon it he lies, and is highly interested in making you believe it; or else he would not take so much pains. 

SHUN RIOTOUS CONNEXIONS

THERE is an incontinency of friendship among young fellows, who are associated by their mutual pleasures only, which has very frequently bad consequences. A parcel of warm hearts and inexperienced heads, heated by convivial mirth, and possibly a little too much wine, vow, and really mean at the time, eternal friendships to each other, and indiscreetly pour out their whole souls in common, and without the least reserve. These confidences are as indiscreetly repealed as they were made; for new pleasures and new places soon dissolve this ill-cemented connection, and then very ill uses are made of these rash confidences. Bear your part, however, in young companies; nay, excel, if you can, in all the social and convivial joy and festivity that become youth. Trust them with your love-tales, if you please; but keep your serious views secret. Trust those only to some tried friend, more experienced than yourself, and who, being in a different walk of life from you, is not likely to become your rival; for I would not advise you to depend so much upon the heroic virtue of mankind, as to hope or believe that your competitor will ever be your friend, as to the object of that competition.



A SEEMING IGNORANCE OFTEN NECESSARY 


     A SEEMING ignorance is often a most necessary part of worldly knowledge. It is, for instance, commonly advisable to seem ignorant of what people offer to tell you; and, when they say, “Have not you heard of such a thing?” to answer, “No,” and to let them go on, though you know it already. Some have a pleasure in telling it, because they think they tell it well; others have a pride in it, as being the sagacious discoverers; and many have a vanity in showing that they have been, though very undeservedly, trusted: all these would be disappointed, and consequently displeased, if you said, “Yes”. Seem always ignorant (unless to one most intimate friend) of all matters of private scandal and defamation, though you should hear them a thousand times; for the parties affected always look upon the receiver to be almost as bad as the thief; and, whenever they become the topic of conversation, seem to be a skeptic, though you are really a serious believer; and always take the extenuating part. But all this seeming ignorance should be joined to thorough and extensive private informations; and, indeed, it is the best method of procuring them; for most people have such a vanity in showing a superiority over others, though but for a moment, and in the merest trifles, that they will tell you what they should not, rather than not show that they can tell what you did not know; besides that, such seeming ignorance will make you pass for incurious, and consequently undesigning. However, fish for facts, and take pains to be well informed of everything that passes; but fish judiciously, and not always, nor indeed often, in the shape of direct questions, which always put people upon their guard, and, often repeated, grow tiresome. But, sometimes, take the things that you would know for granted; upon which somebody will, kindly and officiously, set you right; sometimes say, that you have heard so and so, and at other times seem to know more than you do, in order to know all that you want; but avoid direct questioning as much as you can.

FLEXIBILITY OF MANNERS VERY USEFUL


     HUMAN nature is the same all over the world; but its operations are so varied by education and habit, that one must see it in all its dresses in order to be intimately acquainted with it. The passion of ambition, for instance, is the same in a courtier, a soldier, or an ecclesiastic; but, from their different educations and habits, they will take very different methods to gratify it. Civility, which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others, is essentially the same in every country; but good-breeding, as it is called, which is the manner of exerting that disposition, is different in almost every country, and merely local; and every man of sense imitates and conforms to that local good-breeding of the place which he is at. A conformity and flexibility of manners is necessary in the course of the world; that is, with regard to all things which are not wrong in themselves. The versatile ingenium is the most useful of all. It can turn itself instantly from one object to another, assuming the proper manner for each. It can be serious with the grave, cheerful with the gay, and trifling with the frivolous.

     Indeed, nothing is more engaging than a cheerful and easy conformity to people's particular manners, habits, and even weaknesses; nothing (to use a vulgar expression) should come amiss to a young fellow. He should be, for good purposes, what Alcibiades was commonly for bad ones,—a Proteus, assuming with ease, and wearing with cheerfulness, any shape. Heat, cold, luxury, abstinence, gravity, gaiety, ceremony, easiness, learning, trifling, business, and pleasure, are modes which he should be able to take, lay aside, or change occasionally, with as much ease as he would take or lay aside his hat.


SPIRIT


     YOUNG men are apt to think that everything is to be carried by spirit and vigor; that art is meanness, and that versatility and complaisance are the refuge of pusillanimity and weakness. This most mistaken opinion gives an indelicacy, an abruptness, and a roughness to the manners. Fools, who can never be undeceived, retain them as long as they live; reflection, with a little experience, makes men of sense shake them off soon. When they come to be a little better acquainted with themselves, and with their own species, they discover that plain, right reason is, nine times in ten, the fettered and shackled attendant of the triumph of the heart and the passions; consequently, they address themselves, nine times in ten, to the conqueror, not to the conquered: and conquerors, you know, must be applied to in the gentlest, the most engaging, and the most insinuating manner.

     But, unfortunately, young men are as apt to think themselves wise enough, as drunken men are to think themselves sober enough. They look upon spirit to be a much better thing than experience, which they call coldness. They are but half mistaken; for, though spirit without experience is dangerous, experience without spirit is languid and defective. Their union, which is very rare, is perfection; you may join them, if you please; for all my experience is at your service; and I do not desire one grain of your spirit in return. Use them both, and let them reciprocally animate and check each other. I mean here, by the spirit of youth, only the vivacity and presumption of youth, which hinder them from seeing the difficulties or dangers of an undertaking; but I do not mean what the silly vulgar call spirit, by which they are captious, jealous of their rank, suspicious of being undervalued, and tart (as they call it) in their repartees upon the slightest occasions. This is an evil and a very silly spirit, which should be driven out, and transferred to a herd of swine.


NEVER NEGLECT OLD ACQUAINTANCE


     TO conclude: Never neglect or despise old, for the sake of new or shining acquaintance, which would be ungrateful on your part, and never forgiven on theirs. Take care to make as many personal friends, and as few personal enemies, as possible. I do not mean, by personal friends, intimate and confidential friends, of which no man can hope to have half a dozen in the whole course of his life; but I mean friends in the common acceptation of the word; that is, people who speak well of you, and who would rather do you good than harm, consistently with their own interest, and no further.




Sunday, June 23, 2013

చెస్టర్‌ఫీల్డ్ సలహాలు- KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD - Part - I


KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD


Part - I


     WE should endeavor to hoard up, while we are young, a great stock of knowledge; for, though during that time of dissipation we may not have occasion to spend much of it, yet a time will come when we shall want it to maintain us.


HOW TO ACQUIRE A KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD


     THE knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet. Books alone will never teach it you; but they will suggest many things to your observation, which might otherwise escape you; and your own observations upon mankind, when compared with those which you will find in books, will help you to fix the true point.

     To know mankind well, requires full as much attention and application as to know books, and, it may be, more sagacity and discernment. I am at this time acquainted with many elderly people, who have all passed their whole lives in the great world, but with such levity and inattention, that they know no more of it now than they did at fifteen. Do not flatter yourself, therefore, with the thought that you can acquire this knowledge in the frivolous chit-chat of idle companies; no, you must go much deeper than that. You must look into people, as well as at them. Search, therefore, with the greatest care, into the characters of all those whom you converse with; endeavor to discover their predominant passions, their prevailing weaknesses, their vanities, their follies, and their humors; with all the right and wrong, wise and silly springs of human action, which makes such inconsistent and whimsical beings of us rational creatures.


NEVER SHOW A CONTEMPT FOR ANY ONE


     THERE are no persons so insignificant and inconsiderable, but may, some time or other, or in some thing or other, have it in their power to be of use to you; which they certainly will not, if you have once shown them contempt. Wrongs are often forgiven; but contempt never is. Our pride remembers it forever. Remember, therefore, most carefully to conceal your contempt, however just, wherever you would not make an implacable enemy. Men are much more unwilling to have their weaknesses and their imperfections known than their crimes; and, if you hint to a man that you think him silly, ignorant, or even ill-bred or awkward, he will hate you more and longer than if you tell him plainly that you think him a rogue.


MAKE NO MAN FEEL HIS INFERIORITY


     NOTHING is more insulting than to take pains to make a man feel a mortifying inferiority in knowledge, rank, fortune, etc. In the first it is both ill-bred and ill-natured, and in the two latter articles it is unjust, they not being in his power. Good-breeding and good-nature incline us rather to raise people up to ourselves, than to mortify and depress them. Besides, it is making ourselves so many friends, instead of so many enemies. A constant attention to please, is a most necessary ingredient in the art of pleasing: it flatters the self-love of those to whom it is shown; it engages and captivates, more than things of much greater importance. Every man is, in some measure, obliged to discharge the social duties of life; but these attentions are voluntary acts, the free-will offering of good-breeding and good nature; they are received, remembered, and returned as such. Women, in particular, have a right to them; and any omission in that respect is downright ill-breeding.


NEVER EXPOSE PEOPLE’S WEAKNESSES AND INFIRMITIES


     WE should never yield to that temptation, which to most young men is very strong; of exposing other people's weaknesses and infirmities, for the sake either of diverting the company or of showing our own superiority. We may, by that means, get the laugh on our side for the present; but we shall make enemies by it forever; and even those who laugh with us will, upon reflection, fear and despise us: it is ill-natured; and a good heart desires rather to conceal than expose other people's weaknesses or misfortunes. If we have wit, we should use it to please, and not to hurt; we may shine, like the sun in the temperate zone, without scorching.


STEADY COMMAND OF TEMPER AND COUNTENANCE


     THERE are many inoffensive arts which are necessary in the course of the world, and which he who practices the earliest will please the most, and rise the soonest. The spirits and vivacity of youth are apt to neglect them as useless, or reject them as troublesome; but subsequent knowledge and experience of the world remind us of their importance, commonly when it is too late. The principal of these things is the mastery of one's temper, and that coolness of mind and serenity of countenance which hinder us from discovering, by words, actions, or even looks, those passions or sentiments by which we are inwardly moved or agitated; and the discovery of which gives cooler and abler people such infinite advantages over us, not only in great business, but in all the most common occurrences of life. A man who does not possess himself enough to hear disagreeable things, without visible marks of anger and change of countenance, or agreeable ones without sudden bursts of joy and expansion of countenance, is at the mercy of every artful knave or pert coxcomb: the former will provoke or please you by design, to catch unguarded words or looks, by which he will easily decipher the secrets of your heart, of which you should keep the key yourself, and trust it with no man living; the latter will, by his absurdity, and without intending it, produce the same discoveries of which other people will avail themselves.

     If you find yourself subject to sudden starts of passion or madness, (for I see no difference between them, but in their duration,) resolve within yourself, at least, never to speak one word while you feel that emotion within you.

     In short, make yourself absolute master of your temper and your countenance, so far at least as that no visible change do appear in either, whatever you may feel inwardly. This may be difficult, but it is by no means impossible; and, as a man of sense never attempts impossibilities on the one hand, on the other, he is never discouraged by difficulties: on the contrary, he redoubles his industry and his diligence; he perseveres, and infallibly prevails at last. In any point which prudence bids you pursue, and which a manifest utility attends, let difficulties only animate your industry, not deter you from the pursuit. If one way has failed, try another: be active, persevere, and you will conquer. Some people are to be reasoned, some flattered, some intimidated, and some teased into a thing; but, in general, all are sure to be brought into it at last, if skillfully applied to, properly managed, and indefatigably attacked in their several weak places. The time should likewise be judiciously chosen: every man has his mollia tempora; but that is far from being all day long; and you would choose your time very ill, if you applied to a man about one business, when his head was full of another, or when his heart was full of grief, anger, or any other disagreeable sentiment.


JUDGE OF OTHER MEN’S FEELINGS BY YOUR OWN


     IN order to judge of the inside of others, study your own; for men, in general, are very much alike; and, though one has one prevailing passion, and another has another, yet their operations are much the same; and whatever engages or disgusts, pleases or offends you, in others will, mutatis mutandis, engage, disgust, please, or offend others in you. Observe, with the utmost attention, all the operations of your own mind, the nature of your passions, and the various motives that determine your will; and you may, in a great degree, know all mankind. For instance: Do you find yourself hurt and mortified when another makes you feel his superiority and your own inferiority in knowledge, parts, rank, or fortune? You will certainly take great care not to make a person whose good-will, good word, interest, esteem, or friendship you would gain, feel that superiority in you, in case you have it. If disagreeable insinuations, sly sneers, or repeated contradictions, tease and irritate you, would you use them where you wished to engage and please? Surely not; and I hope you wish to engage and please almost universally. The temptation of saying a smart and witty thing, or bon mot, and the malicious applause with which it is commonly received, have made people who can say them, and, still oftener, people who think they can, but cannot, and yet try, more enemies, and implacable ones too, than any one other thing that I know of. When such things, then, shall happen to be said at your expense, (as sometimes they certainly will), reflect seriously upon the sentiments of uneasiness, anger, and resentment which they excite in you; and consider whether it can be prudent, by the same means, to excite the same sentiments in others against you. It is a decided folly to lose a friend for a jest; but, in my mind, it is not a much less degree of folly to make an enemy of an indifferent and neutral person for the sake of a bon mot. When things of this kind happen to be said of you, the most prudent way is to seem not to suppose that they are meant at you, but to dissemble and conceal whatever degree of anger you may feel inwardly; and, should they be so plain, that you cannot be supposed ignorant of their meaning, to join in the laugh of the company against yourself; acknowledge the hit to be a fair one, and the jest a good one, and play off the whole thing in seeming good humor; but by no means reply in the same way, which only shows that you are hurt, and publishes the victory which you might have concealed. Should the thing said, indeed, injure your honor or moral character, remember there are but two alternatives for a gentleman and a man of parts,—extreme politeness, or a duel.


AVOID SEEING AN AFFRONT, IF POSSIBLE


     IF a man notoriously and designedly insults and affronts you, knock him down; but, if he only injures you, your best revenge is to be extremely civil to him in your outward behavior, though, at the same time, you counterwork him, and return him the compliment, perhaps with interest. This is not perfidy nor dissimulation: it would be so, if you were, at the same time, to make professions of esteem and friendship to this man; which I by no means recommend, but, on the contrary, abhor. All acts of civility are, by common consent, understood to be no more than a conformity to custom, for the quiet and conveniency of society, the agremens of which are not to be disturbed by private dislikes and jealousies. Only women and little minds pout and spar for the entertainment of the company, that always laughs at and never pities them. For my own part, though I would by no means give up any point to a competitor, yet I would pique myself upon showing him rather more civility than to another man. In the first place, this behavior infallibly makes all the laughers of your side, which is a considerable party; and, in the next place, it certainly pleases the object of the competition, be it either man or woman; who never fail to say, upon such an occasion, that “they must own you have behaved yourself very handsomely in the whole affair.”


DISSEMBLE RESENTMENT TOWARDS ENEMIES


     IN short, let this be one invariable rule of your conduct: Never to show the least symptom of resentment which you cannot, to a certain degree, gratify; but always to smile where you cannot strike. There would be no living in the world, if one could not conceal, and even dissemble, the just causes of resentment which one meets with every day in active and busy life. Whoever cannot master his humor should leave the world, and retire to some hermitage in an unfrequented desert. By showing an unavailing and sullen resentment, you authorize the resentment of those who can hurt you, and whom you cannot hurt; and give them that very pretence, which, perhaps, they wished for, of breaking with and injuring you; whereas the contrary behavior would lay them under the restraints of decency at least, and either shackle or expose their malice. Besides, captiousness, sullenness, and pouting are most exceedingly illiberal and vulgar.


TRUST NOT TOO MUCH TO ANY MAN’S HONESTY


     THOUGH men are all of one composition, the several ingredients are so differently proportioned in each individual, that no two are exactly alike; and no one, at all times, like himself. The ablest man will sometimes do weak things; the proudest man, mean things; the honestest man, ill things; and the wickedest man, good things. Study individuals, then; and, if you take (as you ought to do) their outlines from their prevailing passion, suspend your last finishing strokes till you have attended to and discovered the operations of their inferior passions, appetites, and humors. A man's general character may be that of the honestest man in the world: do not dispute it; you may be thought envious or ill-natured; but, at the same time, do not take this probity upon trust to such a degree as to put your life, fortune, or reputation in his power. This honest man may happen to be your rival in power, in interest, or in love,—three passions that often put honesty to most severe trials, in which it is too often cast; but, first, analyze this honest man yourself, and then only you will be able to judge how far you may or may not with safety trust him.

(to be continued in Part - II)




Saturday, June 22, 2013

చెస్టర్‌ఫీల్డ్ సలహాలు- GRACES - Part - III

 
GRACES


Part - III



PRONUNCIATION IN SPEECH


     TO acquire a graceful utterance, read aloud to some friend every day, and beg of him to interrupt and correct you whenever you read too fast, do not observe the proper stops, lay a wrong emphasis, or utter your words unintelligibly. You may even read aloud to yourself, and tune your utterance to your own ear. Take care to open your teeth when you read or speak, and articulate every word distinctly; which last cannot be done, but by sounding the final letter. But, above all, study to vary your voice according to the subject, and avoid monotony. Daily attention to these articles will in a little time render them easy and habitual to you.

     The voice and manner of speaking, too, are not to be neglected: some people almost shut their mouth when they speak, and mutter so that they are not to be understood; others speak so fast and sputter, that they are not to be understood neither: some always speak as loud as if they were talking to deaf people; and others so low that one cannot hear them. All these habits are awkward and disagreeable, and are to be avoided by attention: they are the distinguishing mark of the ordinary people, who have had no care taken of their education. You cannot imagine how necessary it is to mind all these little things; for I have seen many people, with great talents, ill received for want of having these talents; and others well received, only from their little talents, and who had no great ones.


SPELLING


     ORTHOGRAPHY, or spelling well, is so absolutely necessary for a man of letters, or a gentleman, that one false spelling may fix ridicule on him for the remainder of his life. Reading carefully will contribute, in a great measure, to preserve you from exposing yourself by false spelling; for books are generally well-spelled, according to the orthography of the times. Sometimes words, indeed, are spelled differently by different authors; but those instances are rare; and where there is only one way of spelling a word, should you spell it wrong, you will be sure to be ridiculed. Nay, a woman of a tolerable education would despise and laugh at her lover, if he should send her an ill-spelled billet-doux.


STYLE

     STYLE is the dress of thoughts; and let them be ever so just, if your style is homely, coarse, and vulgar, they will appear to as much disadvantage, and be as ill received, as your person, though ever so well proportioned, would, if dressed in rags, dirt, and tatters. It is not every understanding that can judge of matter; but every ear can and does judge more or less of style.

     Mind your diction, in whatever language you either write or speak: contract a habit of correctness and elegance. Consider your style, even in the freest conversation and most familiar letters. After, at least, if not before, you have said a thing, reflect if you could not have said it better.


WRITING


     EVERY man who has the use of his eyes and his right hand, can write whatever hand he pleases. Nothing is so ungentlemanlike as a schoolboy’s scrawl. I do not desire you to write a stiff, formal hand, like that of a schoolmaster, but a genteel, legible, and liberal character, and to be able to write quick. As to the correctness and elegancy of your writing, attention to grammar does the one, and to the best authors the other. Epistolary correspondence should be easy and natural, and convey to the persons just what we would say if we were with them.


VULGAR EXPRESSIONS


     VULGARISM in language is a certain characteristic of bad company and a bad education. Proverbial expressions and trite sayings are the flowers of the rhetoric of a vulgar man. Would he say, that men differ in their taste; he both supports and adorns that opinion, by the good old saying, as he respectfully calls it, that “what is one man’s meat is another man’s poison.” If anybody attempts being smart, as he calls it, upon him, he gives them tit for tat, ay, that he does. He has always some favorite word for the time being; which, for the sake of using often, he commonly uses; such as vastly angry, vastly kind, vastly handsome, and vastly ugly. Even his pronunciation of proper words carries the mark of the beast along with it. He calls the earth, yearth; he is obleeged, not obliged, to you. He goes to wards, and not towards, such a place. He sometimes affects hard words, by way of ornament, which he always mangles like a learned woman. A man of fashion never has recourse to proverbs and vulgar aphorisms; uses neither favorite words nor hard words; but takes great care to speak very correctly and grammatically, and to pronounce properly; that is, according to the usage of the best companies.


CAUTIONS AGAINST SUNDRY ODD HABITS


     HUMMING a tune within ourselves, drumming with our fingers, making a noise with our feet, and such awkward habits, being all breaches of good manners, are therefore indications of our contempt for the persons present, and consequently should not be practiced.

     Eating very quick, or very slow, is characteristic of vulgarity: the former infers poverty; the latter, if abroad, that you are disgusted with your entertainment; and if at home, that you are rude enough to give your friends what you cannot eat yourself. Eating soup with your nose in the plate is also vulgar. So likewise in smelling to the meat while on the fork, before you put it in your mouth. If you dislike what is sent upon your plate, leave it; but never, by smelling to or examining it, appear to tax your friend with placing unwholesome provisions before you.

     Spitting on the floor or carpet is a filthy practice, and which, were it to become general, would render it as necessary to change the carpets as the tablecloths: not to add, it will induce our acquaintance to suppose, that we have not been used to genteel furniture: for which reason alone, if for no other, a man of liberal education should avoid it.

     To conclude this article: never walk fast in the streets, which is a mark of vulgarity, ill befitting the character of a gentleman or a man of fashion, though it may be tolerable in a tradesman.

     To stare any person full in the face, whom you may chance to meet, is an act also of ill-breeding; it would seem to bespeak as if you saw something wonderful in his appearance; and is, therefore, a tacit reprehension.

     Keep yourself free, likewise, from all odd tricks or habits; such as scratching yourself, putting your fingers in your mouth, nose, and ears, thrusting out your tongue, snapping your fingers, biting your nails, rubbing your hands, sighing aloud, an affected shivering of your body, gaping, and many others, which I have noticed before; all which are imitations of the manners of the mob, and degrading to a gentleman.   
   

———

Friday, June 21, 2013

చెస్టర్‌ఫీల్డ్ సలహాలు- GRACES - Part - II



GRACES



Part - II



CLEANLINESS


     THE person should be accurately clean; the teeth, hands, and nails should be particularly so: a dirty mouth has real ill consequences to the owner, for it infallibly causes the decay, as well as the intolerable pain of the teeth; and is very offensive, for it will most inevitably stink. Nothing looks more ordinary, vulgar, and illiberal than dirty hands, and ugly, uneven, and ragged nails; the ends of which should be kept smooth and clean, (not tipped with black,) and small segments of circles; and every time that the hands are wiped, rub the skin round the nails backward, that it may not grow up, and shorten them too much. Upon no account whatever put your fingers in your nose or ears. It is the most shocking, nasty, vulgar rudeness, that can be offered to company. The ears should be washed well every morning; and in blowing your nose, never look afterwards into your handkerchief.

     These things may, perhaps, appear too insignificant to be mentioned; but, when it is remembered that a thousand little nameless things, which every one feels, but no one can describe, conspire to form that whole of pleasing, I think we ought not to call them trifling. Besides, a clean shirt and a clean person are as necessary to health as not to offend other people. I have ever held it as a maxim, and which I have lived to see verified, that a man who is negligent at twenty will be a sloven at forty, and intolerable at fifty years of age.


COMPLIMENTS


     ATTEND to the compliments of congratulations, or condolence, that you hear a well-bred man make to his superiors, to his equals, and to his inferiors: watch even his countenance and his tone of voice; for they all conspire in the main point of pleasing. There is a certain distinguishing diction of a man of fashion: he will not content himself with saying, like John Trot, to a new-married man, “Sir, I wish you much joy;” or to a man who has lost his son, “ Sir, I am sorry for your loss;” and both with a countenance equally unmoved; but he will say in effect the same thing, in a more elegant and less trivial manner, and with a countenance adapted to the occasion. He will advance with warmth, vivacity, and a cheerful countenance, to the new-married man, and, embracing him, perhaps say to him, “ If you do justice to my attachment to you, you will judge of the joy that I feel upon this occasion, better than I can express it,” &c. To the other in affliction he will advance slowly, with a grave composure of countenance, in a more deliberate manner, and, with a lower voice, perhaps, say, “I hope you do me the justice to be convinced that I feel whatever you feel, and shall ever be affected where you are concerned.”   


DICTION

     THERE is a certain language of conversation, a fashionable diction, of which every gentleman ought to be perfectly master, in whatever language he speaks. The French attend to it carefully, and with great reason; and their language, which is a language of phrases, helps them out exceedingly. That delicacy of diction is characteristical of a man of fashion and good company.


DRESS AND DANCING


     DRESS is one of the various ingredients that contribute to the art of pleasing, and, therefore; an object of some attention; for we cannot help forming some opinion of a man’s sense and character from his dress. All affectation in dress implies a flaw in the understanding. Men of sense carefully avoid any particular character in their dress: they are accurately clean for their own sake; but all the rest is for the sake of other people. A man should dress as well, and in the same manner, as the people of sense and fashion of the place where he is: If he dresses more than they, he is a fop; if he dresses less, he is unpardonably negligent; but of the two, a young fellow should be rather too much than too little dressed; the excess of that side will wear off with a little age and reflection.

     The difference in dress between a man and a fop is, that the fop values himself upon his dress, and the man of sense laughs at it, at the same time that he knows he must not neglect it: there are a thousand foolish customs of this kind, which, as they are not criminal, must be complied with, and even cheerfully, by men of sense. Diogenes* the cynic was a wise man for despising them, but a fool for showing it.

     We should not attempt to rival or to excel a fop in dress; but it is necessary to dress, to avoid singularity and ridicule. Great care should be taken to be always dressed like the reasonable people of our own age, in the place where we are; whose dress is never spoken of one way or the other, as neither too negligent nor too much studied.

     Awkwardness of carriage is very alienating, and a total negligence of dress and air is an impertinent insult upon custom and fashion. Women have great influence as to a man's fashionable character; and an awkward man will never have their votes, which are very numerous, and oftener counted than weighed.

     When we are once well dressed for the day, we should think no more of it afterwards; and without any stiffness for fear of discomposing that dress, we should be as easy and natural as if we had no clothes on at all.

     Dancing, likewise, though a silly trifling thing, is one of those established follies which people of sense are sometimes obliged to conform to; and, if they do, they should be able to perform it well.

     In dancing, the motion of the arms should be particularly attended to, as these decide a man's being genteel or otherwise, more than any other part of the body. A twist or stiffness in the wrist will make any man look awkward. If a man dances well from the waist upwards, wears his hat well, and moves his head properly, he dances well. Coming into a room and presenting yourself to a company, should be also attended to, as this always gives the first impression, which is often indelible. Those who present themselves well, have a certain dignity in their air, which, without the least seeming mixture of pride, at once engages, and is respected.

DRINKING OF HEALTHS


     DRINKING of healths* is now grown out of fashion, and is deemed unpolite in good company. Custom once had rendered it universal; but the improved manners of the age now consider it as absurd and vulgar. What can be more rude or ridiculous than to interrupt persons at their meals with an unnecessary compliment? Abstain, then, from this silly custom, where you find it disused; and use it only at those tables where it continues general.
  

ASSURANCE


     A STEADY assurance is too often improperly styled impudence. For my part, I see no impudence, but, on the contrary, infinite utility and advantage, in presenting one's self, with the same coolness and unconcern, in any and every company: till one can do that, I am very sure that one can never present one's self well. Whatever is done under concern and embarrassment, must be ill done; and, till a man is absolutely easy and unconcerned in every company, he will never be thought to have kept good, nor be very welcome in it. Assurance and intrepidity, under the white banner of seeming modesty, clear the way to merit, that would otherwise be discouraged by difficulties in its journey; whereas barefaced impudence is the noisy and blustering harbinger of a worthless and senseless usurper.


HURRY


     A MAN of sense may be in haste, but can never be in a hurry, because he knows whatever he does in a hurry he must necessarily do very ill. He may be in haste to dispatch an affair; but he will take care not to let that haste hinder his doing it well. Little minds are in a hurry when the object proves (as it commonly does) too big for them; they run, they hare, they puzzle, confound, and perplex themselves; they want to do everything at once, and never do it at all. But a man of sense takes the time necessary for doing the thing he is about well; and his haste to dispatch a business only appears by the continuity of his application to it: he pursues it with a cool steadiness, and finishes it before he begins any other.



LAUGHTER


     FREQUENT and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill-manners; it is the manner in which the mob express their silly joy at silly things; and they call it being merry. In my mind, there is nothing so illiberal and so ill-bred, as audible laughter. True wit or sense never yet made anybody laugh; they are above it; they please the mind, and give a cheerfulness to the countenance. But it is low buffoonery, or silly accidents, that always excite laughter; and that is what people of sense and breeding should show themselves above. A man's going to sit down in the supposition that he has a chair behind him, and falling down upon his breech for want of one, sets a whole company laughing, when all the wit in the world would not do it; a plain proof, in my mind, how low and unbecoming a thing laughter is; not to mention the disagreeable noise that it makes, and the shocking distortion of the face that it occasions.

     Many people, at first from awkwardness, have got a very disagreeable and silly trick of laughing whenever they speak; and I know men of very good parts who cannot say the commonest things without laughing, which makes those who do not know them take them at first for natural fools.


LETTER-WRITING


     IT is of the utmost importance to write letters well; as this is a talent which daily occurs, as well in business as in pleasure; and inaccuracies in orthography, or in style, are never pardoned but in ladies; nor is it hardly pardonable in them. The Epistles of Cicero* are the most perfect models of good writing.

     Letters should be easy and natural, and convey to the person to whom we send them, just what we would say to those persons if we were present with them.

     The best models of letter-writing are Cicero*, Cardinal d'Ossat, Madame Sevigne, and Comte Bussy Rebutin. Cicero's Epistles to Atticus, and to his familiar friends, are the best examples in the friendly and the familiar style. The simplicity and clearness of the letters of Cardinal d'Ossat show how letters of business ought to be written. For gay and amusing letters, there are none that equal Comte Bussy's and Madame Sevigne's. They are so natural, that they seem to be the extempore conversations of two people of wit, rather than letters.

     Neatness in folding up, sealing, and directing letters is by no means to be neglected. There is something in the exterior, even of a letter, that may please or displease; and consequently deserves some attention.


NICKNAME



     THERE is nothing that a young man, at his first appearance in the world, has more reason to dread, and therefore should take more pains to avoid, than having any ridicule fixed on him. In the opinion even of the most rational men, it will degrade him, but ruin him with the rest. Many a man has been undone by acquiring a ridiculous nickname. The causes of nicknames among well-bred men are generally the little defects in manner, elocution, air, or address. To have the appellation of muttering, awkward, ill-bred, absent, left-legged, annexed always to your name, would injure you more than you imagine. Avoid, then, these little defects, and you may set ridicule at defiance.

(to be continued in Part - III)