TO keep good company, especially at your first setting out, is the way to receive good impressions. Good company is not what respective sets of company are pleased either to call or think themselves. It consists chiefly (though not wholly) of people of considerable birth, rank, and character; for people of neither birth nor rank are frequently and very justly admitted into it, if distinguished by any peculiar merit, or eminency in any liberal art or science. So motley a thing is good company, that many people without birth, rank, or merit, intrude into it by their own forwardness, and others get into it by the protection of some considerable person. In this fashionable good company, the best manners and the purest language are most unquestionably to be learned; for they establish and give the ton to both, which are called the language and manners of good company, neither of them being ascertained by any legal tribunal.
A company of people of the first quality cannot be called good company, in the common acceptation of the phrase, unless they are the fashionable and accredited company of the place; for people of the first quality can be as silly, as ill-bred, and as worthless, as people of the meanest degree. And a company consisting wholly of people of very low condition, whatever their merits or talents may be, can never be called good company; and, therefore, should not be much frequented, though by no means despised.
A company wholly composed of learned men, though greatly to be respected, is not meant by the words “good company:” they cannot have the easy and polished manners of the world, as they do not live in it. If we can bear our parts well in such a company, it will be proper to be in it sometimes, and we shall be more esteemed in other companies, for having a place in that.
A company, consisting wholly of professed wits and poets, is very inviting to young men, who are pleased with it, if they have wit themselves; and, if they have none, are foolishly proud of forming part of it. But such companies should be frequented with moderation and judgment. A wit is a very unpopular denomination, as it carries terror along with it; and people are as much afraid of a wit in company, as a woman is of a gun, which she supposes may go off of itself, and do her a mischief. Their acquaintance, however, is worth seeking, and their company worth frequenting; but not exclusively of others, nor to such a degree as to be considered only as one of that particular set.
Above all things, endeavour to keep company with people above you; for, there you rise, as much as you sink with people below you. When I say “company above you,” I do not mean with regard to their birth, but with regard to their merit, and the light in which the world considers them.
There are two sorts of good company; one, which is called the beau monde, and consists of those people who have the lead in courts, and in the gay part of life: the other consists of those who are distinguished by some peculiar merit, or who excel in some particular and valuable art or science.
Be equally careful to avoid that low company which, in every sense of the word, is low indeed; low in rank, low in parts, low in manners, and low in merit. Vanity, that source of many of our follies and of some of our crimes, has sunk many a man into company in every light infinitely below him, for the sake of being the first man in it. There he dictates, is applauded and admired: but he soon disgraces himself, and disqualifies himself for any better company.
Having thus pointed out what company you should avoid, and with what company you should associate, I shall now lay down a few
CAUTIONS TO BE OBSERVED IN ADOPTING THE MANNERS OF A COMPANY.
WHEN a young man, new in the world, first gets into company, he determines to conform to and imitate it. But he too often mistakes the object of his imitation. He has frequently heard the absurd term of “genteel and fashionable vices.” He there observes some people who shine, and who in general are admired and esteemed; and perceives that these people are rakes, drunkards, or gamesters: he therefore adopts their vices; mistaking their defects for their perfections, and imagining that they owe their fashions and their lustre to these genteel vices. But it is exactly the reverse; for these people have acquired their reputation by their parts, their learning, their good-breeding, and other real accomplishments; and are only blemished and lowered in the opinions of all reasonable people by these genteel and fashionable vices. It is therefore plain that, in these mixed characters, the good part only makes people forgive, but not approve, the bad.
If a man should, unfortunately, have any vices, he ought at least to be content with his own, and not adopt other people's. The adoption of vice has ruined ten times more young men than natural inclinations.
Let us imitate the real perfections of the good company into which we may get; copy their politeness, their carriage, their address, and the easy and well-bred turn of their conversation. But we should remember, that, let them shine ever so bright, their vices, if they have any, are so many blemishes, which we should no more endeavour to imitate, than we would make artificial warts upon our faces, because some very handsome man had the misfortune to have a natural one upon his. We should, on the contrary, think how much handsomer he would have been without it.
Having thus given you instructions for making you well received in good company, I proceed next to lay before you, what you will find of equal use and importance in your commerce with the world, some directions, or
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