BASHFULNESS is the distinguishing character of an English booby, who appears frightened out of his wits if people of fashion speak to him, and blushes and stammers without being able to give a proper answer; by which means he becomes truly ridiculous, from a groundless fear of being laughed at.
There is a very material difference between modesty and an awkward bashfulness, which is as ridiculous as true modesty is commendable. It is as absurd to be a simpleton as to be an impudent fellow; and we make ourselves contemptible, if we cannot come into a room and speak to people without being out of countenance, or without embarrassment. A man who is really diffident, timid, and bashful, be his merit what it will, never can push himself in the world. His despondency throws him into inaction; and the forward, the bustling, and the petulant will always precede him. The manner makes the whole difference. What would be impudence in one man is only a proper and decent assurance in another. A man of sense, and of knowledge of the world, will assert his own rights, and pursue his own objects, as steadily and intrepidly as the most impudent man living, and commonly more so; but then he has art enough to give an outward air of modesty to all he does. This engages and prevails, while the very same things shock and fail, from the over-bearing or impudent manner only of doing them.
Englishmen, in general, are ashamed of going into company. When we avoid singularity, of what should we be ashamed? And why should not we go into a mixed company with as much ease, and as little concern, as we would go into our own room? Vice and ignorance are the only things we ought to be ashamed of: while we keep clear of them, we may venture any where without fear or concern. Nothing sinks a young man into low company so surely as bashfulness. If he thinks that he shall not, he most surely will not, please.
Some, indeed, from feeling the pain and inconveniences of bashfulness, have rushed into the other extreme, and turned impudent; as cowards sometimes grow desperate from excess of danger: but this is equally to be avoided, there being nothing more generally shocking than impudence. The medium between these two extremes points out the well- bred man, who always feels himself firm and easy in all companies; who is modest without being bashful and steady without being impudent.
A mean fellow is ashamed and embarrassed when he comes into company, is disconcerted when spoken to, answers with difficulty, and does not know how to dispose of his hands; but a gentleman who is acquainted with the world, appears in company with a graceful and proper assurance, and is perfectly easy and unembarrassed. He is not dazzled by superior rank; he pays all the respect that is due to it, without being disconcerted; and can converse as easily with a king as with any one of his subjects. This is the great advantage of being introduced young into good company, and of conversing with our superiors. A well-bred man will converse with his inferiors without insolence, and with his superiors with respect and ease. Add to this, that a man of a gentleman-like behaviour, though of inferior parts, is better received than a man of superior abilities, who is unacquainted with the world. Modesty and a polite, easy assurance should be united.
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