VANITY
Saturday, July 6, 2013
చెస్టర్ఫీల్డ్ సలహాలు - VANITY
BE
extremely on your guard against vanity, the common failing of inexperienced
youth, but particularly against that kind of vanity that dubs a man a coxcomb:
a character which, once acquired, is more indelible than that of the
priesthood. It is not to be imagined by how many different ways vanity defeats
its own purposes. One man decides peremptorily upon every subject, betrays his
ignorance upon many, and shows a disgusting presumption upon the rest; another
desires to appear successful among the women: he hints at the encouragement he
has received from those of the most distinguished rank and beauty, and
intimates a particular connection with some one. If it is true, it is
ungenerous; if false, it is infamous: but in either case he destroys the
reputation he wants to get. Some flatter their vanity by little extraneous
objects, which have not the least relation to themselves; such as being
descended from, related to, or acquainted with, people of distinguished merit
and eminent characters. They talk perpetually of their grandfather Such-a-one,
their uncle Such-a-one, and their intimate friend Mr. Such-a-one, whom,
possibly, they are hardly acquainted with. But admitting it all to be as they
would have it, what then? Have they the more merit for those accidents?
Certainly not. On the contrary, their taking up adventitious proves their want
of intrinsic merit: a rich man never borrows. Take this rule for granted, as a
never-failing one; that you must never seem to affect the character in which
you have a mind to shine. Modesty is the only sure bait, when you angle for
praise. The affectation of courage will make even a brave man pass only for a
bully; as the affectation of wit will make a man of parts pass for a coxcomb.
By this modesty I do not mean timidity and awkward bashfulness. On the contrary,
be inwardly firm and steady: know your own value whatever it may be, and act
upon that principle; but take great care to let nobody discover that you do
know your own value. Whatever real merit you have, other people will discover;
and people always magnify their own discoveries, as they lessen those of
others.
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