Wednesday, June 26, 2013

చెస్టర్‌ఫీల్డ్ సలహాలు - DIGNITY OF MANNERS


DIGNITY OF MANNERS


     A CERTAIN dignity of manners is absolutely necessary, to make even the most valuable characters either respected or respectable in the world.


ROMPING &C.


     HORSE-PLAY, romping, frequent and loud fits of laughter, jokes, waggery, and indiscriminate familiarity, will sink both merit and knowledge into a degree of contempt. They compose at most a merry fellow, and a merry fellow was never yet a respectable man. Indiscriminate familiarity either offends your superiors, or else dubs you their dependent and led captain. It gives your inferiors just, but troublesome and improper claims of equality. A joker is near akin to a buffoon; and neither of them is the least related to wit. Whoever is admitted or sought for, in company, upon any other account than that of his merit and manners, is never respected there, but only made use of. “We will have Such-a-one, for he sings prettily;” “We will invite Such-a-one to a ball, for he dances well;” “We will have Such-a-one to supper, for he is always joking and laughing;” “We will ask another, because he plays deep at all games, or because he can drink a great deal.” These are all vilifying distinctions, mortifying preferences, and exclude all ideas of esteem and regard. Whoever is had (as it is called) in company, for the sake of any one thing singly, is singly that thing, and will never be considered in any other light; and consequently never respected, let his merits be what they will.


PRIDE


     DIGNITY of manners is not only as different from pride as true courage is from blustering, or true wit from joking, but is absolutely inconsistent with it; for nothing vilifies and degrades more than pride. The pretensions of the proud man are oftener treated with sneer and contempt, than with indignation; as we offer ridiculously too little to a tradesman who asks ridiculously too much for his goods; but we do not haggle with one who only asks a just and reasonable price.


ABJECT FLATTERY


     ABJECT flattery and indiscriminate ostentation degrade, as much as indiscriminate contradiction and noisy debate disgust; but a modest assertion of one's own opinion, and a complaisant acquiescence to other people's, preserve dignity.

     Vulgar, low expressions, awkward motions and address, vilify, as they imply either a very low turn of mind, or low education, and low company.


FRIVOLOUS CURIOSITY


     FRIVOLOUS curiosity about trifles, and a laborious attention to little objects, which neither require nor deserve a moment's thought, lower a man; who thence is thought (and not unjustly) incapable of greater matters. Cardinal de Retz very sagaciously marked out Cardinal Chigi for a little mind, from the moment that he told him he had written three years with the same pen, and that it was an excellent good one still.

     A certain degree of exterior seriousness in looks and motions gives dignity, without excluding wit and decent cheerfulness, which are always serious themselves. A constant smirk upon the face, and a whiffling activity of the body, are strong indications of futility. Whoever is in a hurry, shows that the thing he is about is too big for him. Haste and hurry are very different things.

     To conclude: A man who has patiently been kicked may as well pretend to courage, as a man blasted by vices and crimes may to dignity of any kind. But an exterior decency and dignity of manners will even keep such a man longer from sinking, than otherwise he would be: of such consequence is decorum, even though affected and put on.




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